In the last year, I’ve learned to ask about details. Their history, their story, their meaning. Sometimes the answer is as simple as, “I liked it and thought I could wear it again sometime, like on anniversaries or special nights out.” Sometimes the answer is more nuanced. A gift from the brides father to her mother on their first date. A grandmothers bracelet, a kerchief carried at every wedding for 5 generations that came over with an aunt on a boat from Europe.

      In the last year, I’ve really though a lot about family and love and details. In a fragile year like this one has been, they’ve taken on greater importance to me. While I recognize that it’s hard to change the issues we have going on, the thing I’ve fallen back on is that we can change how we look at people, and look at life. My mom used to tell me that none of us know what’s going on in someone’s life, and that’s a primary reason to always be cool, all the time.


      Back to the details- They’ve become super important to me. If a picture can connect your current self to your past self, so can a piece of jewelry or a fabric, or a pair of shoes. It’s not the thing, it’s the connection. You wear them with joy and hope. They exist with you through a sacred day. And the details passed down to you from family or friends are also a legacy created with love, nurtured over the years and then passed on to you the day you begin your new adventure. They’re there for you, pointing the way to your own future. They speak to the fact that your marriage exists for you, but also for people who are impacted by your marriage.

      The point is, details matter. Everything matters. Words matter, love matters, people matter. And it all matters more now. It just does.

      So whatever they are, no matter how simple or elaborate, share those things with people you love through the years. Don’t just keep them in a box in a closet. They’ll mean more when you share them, like you share love with others.