Two things I say to couples when we first meet is to tell them “I’m there for you.” and “Your wedding day is going to happen to you.” If we create a schedule of photography for the day, I’m sticking to that. It’s your day, your schedule.” And I mean it. I definitely give suggestions for photography, but in the end, if you as a couple choose to have your first look at noon, we’re doing it that way. In fact, I’ve learned to love shooting at times like noon and 2 pm. I’ve learned to harness light differently in my camera because of these schedules, and in the end I’m always so glad we did things at the time we did. It all happened at the time it was supposed to.
The second thing I always tell couples is, “Your wedding day is going to happen to you.” Everyone laughs at that, but the point is that things are going to happen, and they’re going to happen to you. So one of the best things you can do for yourself is, as much as possible, to live the day as it’s unfolding. But this brings me to my point.
One of things I love about weddings is that the day shifts between emotions, weather, activity. The time spent prepping is usually a bit slower, but still has the potential for tension and emotions. People are coming in and out, asking you questions. You’re sitting in a chair which is supposed to be a relaxing experience. But your phone is pinging with congratulatory texts, people are coming in and out with questions. You’re still making decisions up to the last minute, even though they’re fun. But it can be taxing. It part of the umami of wedding emotions that’s hard to explain. BUt it exists. I read about it all the time. I see it in brides faces on their wedding days. Here’s how I try to counteract that: I try to build in a few minutes of alone time for a bride.
If at all possible when we’re creating the photography schedule together, I build in a buffer of 15 to 20 minutes. Most of my couples are great about the schedule and even run ahead. So I try as much as possible to spend a few about 10 minutes with the just bride. I ask her to sit in a room, and I stand outside the door, or on the other side of the room, and I simply tell her to just be, that I’m going to take a few simple images. After 5 minutes I let her have another few minutes to herself. Later when I’m going through those images, I love feeling the peace and stillness in them. It’s kind of a sacred moment to me. And these images are always some of my favorites.
Here’s a couple of other suggestions for having a few minutes to yourself throughout the day.
- A wedding coordinator can handle all the questions for you, letting you keep your time during hair and makeup to yourself. In the case that your budget doesn’t allow a wedding coordinator, you can task a close friend to take care of people’s questions.
- Have a time that’s media free. No phones, just some music and mimosas as you see fit. The quietness and lack of a phone might be weird at first, but it gives you the opportunity to come down a little from all the busyness of the day.
So in the end, the best advice I can give people about their schedule, and constant questions and everything really, is this, “Your wedding day is going to happen to you. Just let it unfold in the way that it should. Your 1 goal is to end the day married to each other. It’s that simple and that complicated.”
I’d love to chat about wedding day schedules, or any wedding related thing actually. We can find a time that words best for us when you can contact me here.